Thursday: Cinema Lost & Found

Movie: Thursday

Release Date: 9/25/1998

Viewed: Unknown

Genre: Action, Crime, Drugs

Length: 83 minutes

Rated: R

Cast: Aaron Eckhart, Paulina Porizkova

Writer/ Director: Skip Woods

A man sits in his dining room. His hands are taped behind his back to the chair he is confined to. He wears a scowl on his face for his captor sitting on the floor before him. Brandishing a gun she is a skinny brunette dressed in a skin tight, red dress. There is time to kill as they wait for their mutual ‘friend’. “Let’s fuck,” the girl says causally. The man expresses his displeasure and skepticism but she goes to the other room, puts on some music and retrieves a photograph of the man’s wife. “She wanted to watch.” The woman licks the photograph and sets it down on the table.

After the man again voices his disbelief she performs fellatio on him. It is at this point that the viewer realizes they are about to witness the skinny woman rape this poor man. She unzips the back of her dress and the camera zooms in on her pale boney back. Her dress drops to the floor. Naked she samples a cigarette and then climbs on the man. Strangling him, she tells the man she won’t kill him until he has cum and that maybe, if they’re lucky, she will get pregnant. The women then proceeds to ride him, screaming joyfully as she does. The man tries to dissociate, thinking of his wife. He looks like he is going to be sick.

This goes on for about a minute. The woman tells the man he has great self-control and goes harder. Just when the scene can’t get more disturbing there is a sudden bang. The man’s face is instantly covered in blood and visceral matter. The woman has been shot. Her head has just exploded like a melon. She drops from his lap dead upon the floor.

You are probably wondering what the hell you just read. Sometime in the late 1990s sitting by my lonesome I wondered what I had just watched. You can imagine my shock when I stumbled across this twisted scene on cable. For whatever reason I failed to learn or remember the name of the movie but the grotesque images of this rape murder were seared into my memory. For over a decade this movie would remain in my cinematic lost & found bin.

Even in the nineties one did not always know exactly what movie they had happened upon. For example, in my house if you were watching on the old television upstairs you won’t necessarily have a guide to identify the program or show. I could sit and watch the TV Guide channel but that took forever. If I was feeling industrious I could search the house for the paper TV Guide. Catching a movie from the beginning is always rare on cable. Back in the nineties with no Tivo or rewind functions you had no avenue to backtrack. Watching a full movie on cable takes planning and let’s face it, if you’re watching a movie on cable you’re certainly not planning anything. It makes for a lot of incomplete movies.

The cinema lost and found gives way to a phenomena which I will call cinematic deja vu. Picture for a moment you are at a typical American party. Kitchen counter covered with mixers, keg on the porch, music and a random movie playing with the sound off. The place is lively and packed. Your attention is divided but you view just enough to get that vague sense of recognition. Suddenly you’re ignoring a buddy inquiring about your beverage situation and you’re watching the movie. With still no idea what the movie is you begin to blindly ask your fellow party goers if they recognize the movie. Sound familiar? It usually happens to me with modestly budgeted films featuring one recognizable actor/actress of some clout but that tanked at the box office and is now relegated to the abyss of TV reruns. You know this sad state of affairs: ninety percent of a shitty movie with an additional hour of commercial inserts? The Crow comes to mind.

Today, not only do we have access to a wide array of entertainment media but we have access to an extensive catalogue of information about that media. Websites like Internet Movie Database (IMDB), Rotten Tomatoes and Wikipedia find an answer to even the most obscure movie trivia just a click away.

Life will never be neat enough to watch every movie and every show from start to finish. Inevitably you will still find yourself in front of a television with no answer as to what the hell you are actually watching. If your lost movie is not quite as colorful as Thursday and you feel that odd sense of cinematic déjà vu it is certainly a lot easier to track it all down.

Once lost, but never forgotten. At the time this movie was shot Aaron Eckhart was virtually unknown. Today he has a respectable resume, which includes but is not limited to: Thank You For Smoking, The Dark Night, Love Happens, and The Rum Diary. One faithful day in 2012 I was surfing the Netflix instant watch and stumbled upon a recent add that had Eckhart in it. I took a long look at the movie cover and plot summary and realized I had found it. After well over a decade I had finally located the movie that had provided such a vivid and disturbing memory. The movie was called Thursday.

You might be wondering what I thought of the rest of Thursday. I’ll provide a quick synopsis to save you the trouble. Casey thought he had left his previous life of robberies and drugs behind. Comfortably living the married life in suburbia he is interviewing with an adoption agency. Unfortunately his former criminal career catches up with him in the form of an old associate and a case full of blow. Unsuccessfully staving off a motley group of criminals Casey is eventually taken hostage in his home hoping to escape with his life. What follows is one of most shocking and frankly unnecessary rape murder scenes. While the dialogue is atrocious I don’t want to banish the film to the bowels of cinema purgatory. For shock value alone the movie may be worth an occasional footnote. Surely this movie was going for a Pulp Fiction like feel but came up painful short. To say one good thing about the movie, actress Paulina Porizkova did great job grossing me out, she was filthy and down right nasty.

On IMDB this movie somehow got 7.1 stars but Rotten Tomatoes gives Thursday a more realistic 33% rating. If you still feel compelled you may check it out yourself for free on YouTube. The YouTube viewer comments are generous to say the least. Certainly I don’t want to give this film too much credit. The rape, exploding head scene can be viewed at 52 minutes10 seconds.

Silver Linings Playbook: American Feel Good

Movie: Silver Linings Playbook

Release Date: 12/25/2012

Viewed: 1/15/2013

Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romantic Comedy, American Feel Good

Length: 120 minutes

Rated: R

Cast: Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, Jacki Weaver

Writer/ Director: David O. Russel

Tiffany: You know, for a while, I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me. But now I’m starting to think you’re the worst.

Pat: Of course you do. Come on, let’s go dance.

The business of romance has become a bewildering state of affairs. The days of boy meets girl, boy marries girl, boy and girl have a family are long gone. In my family a conversation about romantic relationships inevitably draws the same question from my grandmother, “Well are they married?” No Grandma, my friends aren’t married, they just live together. To which she will often lament, “Why do people have to do everything ass backwards now?”

After divorce spread through my parent’s generation like chickenpox it might have left us kids a little jaded. The general life template prior generations appeared to have followed has gone out the window. I have friends with babies and no marriage, married friends with no house, friends with a house but neither baby nor marriage. There are no fundamental rules governing the success or failure of relationships. For those of us who are single it’s like fighting the crowds at a flea market; we're not quite sure what we’re looking for and when we eventually buy something and return home we realize the item is overpriced, poorly made or already broken. With no chance to return the item we muck it and move on. So where does that leave us single guys and gals? Surely the movie industry understands the plight of romance and life these days!

It is lunch time on a Tuesday and I am looking for my own silver lining to a week that is crawling by. My friend Jeff is never one to mince words so he just comes out and says it: Jennifer Lawrence is hot. Admittedly my curiosity has been peaked since Hunger Games. Who is this twenty-two year old goddess that has taken Hollywood by storm? The Kentucky girl next door: youthful, playful, candidly unabashed, bluntly crass, miraculously unfazed by her wild success with sex appeal to boot. Did I mention recently single? Thank god for bromance. What better way for two single men to spend a midweek evening than seeing a romcom together?

Jeff and I dropped by Taco Escobarr for a quick beer before the show. I love to ask questions so among the first words out of mouth were “Are Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence suppose to be romantically involved in this film?”  How the hell were they going to pull that off with well over a decade between them? The odds did not appear to be ever in their favor.

Silver Linings Playbook has something for everyone: mental institutions, running, football, dance...

So to Silver Linings Playbook. Our protagonist Pat (Bradley Cooper) has fallen victim to a series of traumatic events that has left him a shell of his former self. Here it may be most appropriate to quote Mitch from Old School, “…and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...” Through happenstance Pat meets recently widowed Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence). The writing is certainly on the wall as we watch a disgusted Pat fling a Hemingway novel out the window for its tragic ending. Translation, when this movie ends we certainly won't be looking to chuck it back to concessions. This bitch is ending on a silver lining.

A group of almost equally troubled and quirky characters (played by Robert De Niro, Jacki Weaver, Chris Tucker, Julia Styles, John Ortiz) successfully distracted me from a predictable ending. Typically these types of movies tend to annoyingly beat around the bush as the two lovers fall hopelessly for each other much to their initial obliviousness. This film is no exception however both the acting and writing are strong enough to keep us entertained and not just wondering when Pat and Tiffany are going to get with the program and hook up. With that being said I thought for a moment Jennifer Lawrence might break character when Pat states he thought it was romantic to lie about his true feelings for a week. My alternative ending had an annoyed Tiffany mumbling “stop being such a pussy” and stomping off but we got a bunch of mush instead.

Let’s call this movie for what it is: American feel good. It has all the ingredients to make the average American feel good: Cast containing both veteran and rising star actors and actresses, odd humor, two likable main characters eventually shacking up and overcoming their woes (oh yeah and it has football). While this movie certainly isn’t earth shattering it excels at what it set out to do: keep you entertained, keep you laughing and make you feel good. At the very least I wasn’t sitting alone in my apartment. I was sitting in a movie theater with Jeff staring at Jennifer Lawrence in tight dance clothes. There is my silver lining.

Django Unchained: Unchaining Your Expectations

Movie: Django Unchained

Release Date: 12/25/2012

Viewed: 1/12/2013

Genre: Southern, Action, Violent

Length: 165 minutes

Rated: R

Cast: Jamie Fox, Christopher Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kerry Washington, Samuel L Jackson

Writer/ Director: Quentin Tarantino

Calvin: Your boss looks a little green around the gills.

Django: He just ain't used to seein' a man ripped apart by dogs is all.

Calvin: But you are used to it?

Django: I'm just a little more used to Americans than he is.

Friday night had found me inebriated at a local dive and dance club, Bubba's Sulky Lounge. Friday nights at Bubba's are reliably the same: DJ Jon mixing 80's beats, music videos on the big screen, luminous floor, tons of eighties clad dancers. Expectations at Bubba's are widely met and often exceeded making it a solid choice to kick off any 'rockstar weekend.'

The next morning provides an ample opportunity to assess (piece together) the prior evening's tomfoolery (intoxication) with a relatively clear head (sober headache). Did I expect to dress up like looney tunes and dance my ass off on a multicolored floor drinking cheap PBR tallboys? Yes. Did I expect to nearly arrive at second base with a random girl while dancing. No. Did I expect her to thank me for a fun dance and walk off at the conclusion of the song never to be see again? No. Did I meet or beat my expectations for the night? Yes.

Based upon the prior expectations set the night was judged to be a success, enough so that I needed to sleep until noon the next day. Looking for a reason not to drink on a Saturday night is a conundrum for the single twenty-something male. To succeed a concrete plan is required. Django Unchained was to be my concrete plan.

My concrete plan.

Expectations can make or break movies, or dive bars for that matter. When American viewers expect one thing and get another they tend to be disappointed regardless of the quality of the movie. The Good Shepard was one such movie for me. Anticipating a faster paced Bourne like plot left me yawning in my seat. Further reflection finds The Good Shepard back on my list of movie to reconsider. My generalization of expectation may be incorrect but it may also explain the state of theatrical previews now. When I say 'state of theatrical previews' I am referring to the general formula utilized by the movie industry for trailers: condense the entire movie into two minutes, include the three wittiest lines with one being a catch phrase, include all major action sequences or dramatic events, mash and mix the segments within the trailer. The majority of the audience at any movie has seen the preview, probably multiple times. The audience sits in anticipation of the before mentioned specific lines or situations highlighted by the preview.

My Dad's standard comment after watching annoyingly long previews for exceptionally shitty movies: "Well I guess we don't need to see that one!"

The beginning of a new year is primetime for movies. Yet my decision was an easy one, when Quentin Tarantino makes a movie you go see it. Based on the cast, the budget and (oh yes) the previews my expectations were high going in.

There are some arguable parallels of Django Unchained and Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds. Both films are inspired by prior movies of similar plot and title: Django (1966) and The Inglorious Bastards (1978). Both Django Unchained and Inglourious Basterds are set in distinct historical periods of gross class inequality. Tarantino has championed the under privileged group (Blacks and Jews) in two stories of vengeance. All the traditional elements of a Tarantino films are present against the historical backdrop of the slave plantation controlled South and Nazi controlled Europe: gruesome violence that borders on absurdity, particular dialogue, and characters that epitomize the forces of good and evil (the latter being present in Tarantino's more recent works). Antagonizing the viewer with the well established evils of the ruling class the audience may rationalize the violence which unfolds.

Django! Django have you always been alone? Django. Django have you never loved again?

My favorite scenes of the movie (maybe no surprise) are both featured in the trailers: Dr. Schultz propositions Django to track the Brittle brothers in exchange for his freedom, and the introduction of Calvin Candie in the private bar. If you are a movie junkie there is plenty of trivia and hidden meaning to track down. For those of you hoping this flick is more than just a meat filled shooting gallery don't fret! There are plenty of layers to the characters and plot (for example house servant Stephen and the hierarchy among black slaves). While violence is never at a premium for those seeking maximum carnage put your blood lust on the back burner. The finale will certainly have enough blown knee caps, gut busters and groin shots to appease even the darkest of appetites.

In my opinion the acting was for the most part solid. My concern that the notoriety of Fox and DiCaprio would take away from their performances was unfounded. It was refreshing for me to see DiCaprio nail the part of the villain and to do so as a supporting actor. The cinematography was excellence, the scenes of post Civil War South gritty and bold. Tarantino left an interesting finger print on the movie in both the soundtrack and the dress of Django. Where does one get those sunglasses in 2013, let alone 1858? Well I am sure the Internet can tell me.

A common pitfall in the industry has been the diminished quality of the writing and acting in bigger budget movies to that of their predecessors (Matrix 2 & 3, the second Star Wars trilogy, Indiana Jones 4, etc). Unlike some writers and directors I believe Tarantino has maintained his unique style and spirit despite a $100 million budget at his disposal. So, did I find Django Unchained just as entertaining, gruesome and ridiculously awesome as Inglourious Basterds? Yes. Did Django Unchained exceed my expectations? Yes. Do I recommend getting off your ass to see it in the theaters? Yes. Worth a second view? Of course.

I Have To Return Some Videotapes

Evelyn: Where are you going?

Patrick: I am just leaving.

Evelyn: But where?

Patrick: I have to return some videotapes. 

An often given pretext of fictitious businessman and alleged serial killer Patrick Bateman this excuse is now certainly antiquated in any conceivable social situation. Gone are the trips to the local video store, clunky and cumbersome VHS players and fast forwarding through obnoxious previews of straight to TV movies. Is this a bad thing? Call me a sentimental s-o-b but there is much to be missed.

Rewind back to 1997: I am thirteen years old and in the eighth grade. Trippy singles like Six Underground hit the airwaves, gas is just one twenty-two a gallon, a movie ticket just four fifty nine, and a young man we affectionately call Leo becomes a sensation. Once a week my family piles in the car headed for our local movie rental shop- Home Vision Video. Monumental disappointment still looms as a distinct possibility despite well laid plans on the car ride. The unanimous decision to rent Men In Black ultimately is futile when every copy on the new release wall is missing it's counterpart movie box.

Men In Black (1997)

Now utterly directionless wanderlust would set in. Our group would scatter scouring the new releases, unearthing the classics and happening upon the unknown. Quickly identifying my top candidates I would set upon the task of locating the most ludicrous movies. Flashing the covers of films such as Booty Call would elicit a fairly predictable response from parents and sister. Next I would move to my wish list of sure to be vetoed titles such as The Fifth Element. Inevitably a compromise would be reached on a film of decidedly lesser desirability but that met the minimum requirement for each member of the viewing party. Maybe it was the night our parents finally caved and we rented Good Burger or the night I got suckered into watching a romcom like My Best Friend's Wedding. Regardless of the outcome the selection would later play as bargaining chip in the next week's movie debate.

For every poor decision there were many successes. Spectacular double features such as Blind Date/Money Pit and Flubber/Mouse Hunt were masterminded. Worthwhile picks such as hot action flick (Dante's Peak) and tried and true favorite (Air Force One) became placeholders for slightly older us to pull from the shelf one day. If all else failed there was always the employee picks. A hodgepodge of movies that certainly won't disappoint but might leave you scratching your head. It left no mystery to the staff, their tastes and preferences on the wall for all to see: the romantic, the sci-fi nerd, the action buff, the jock athlete and the odd ball. With every pick we became one movie wiser and one movie closer to the coveted free rental.

Does the free rental view better than the rest? Does the fact that it is free vindicate your poor poor choice? A film school thesis no doubt. Ultimately it is the make up of your viewing party that will decide how best to spend the free view. Just like it is not recommended you take your wallet out on a crowded subway it is also not recommended you announce your free movie. In high school my friend Nate made this very mistake. We went home with a soft core porn, Up Against Amanda.

Videoport is my local video rental store in Portland.

Fast forward to 2013: Movie Gallery and Blockbuster have both sought bankruptcy protection, Best Buy stocks primarily blu-rays and we can watch movies on our phones. In my apartment an outdated DVD collection litters my bookshelf, cable television is nowhere to be found and shit, neither is a television. I'm a Netflix junky, a YouTube enthusiast, an occasional Hulu consumer and an advantageous exploiter of pirated internet media. The Napster-Metallica war has come and gone with no clear victor. I stream instant watch, download, rip and burn. Media is increasingly at my fingertips for free or damn near free. This has become the norm for all of us.

Last weekend my good friend John visited me from the nether regions of Northern Maine. After a successful excursion to several local drinking establishments we fired up my computer and drank beer to the wee hours of the morning watching It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. The next morning we were meeting another friend for brunch that did not share our same enthusiasm for imbibing. “What do you think James does on Saturday night when we are out drinking?” John asked me on the way to breakfast the next day. Reading, talking with his long distance girlfriend, I didn't know.

Twenty minutes later the three of us squeezed into our booth at Marcy's with some coffee. James took one look at our tired hung over faces and felt the need to break the silence, “So I stayed up last night until two watching It's Always Sunny.”

Just two weeks ago Netflix had added It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia to instant watch. Back in 1997 James and I may have happened upon each other reaching for the last new release copy of Men In Black at the video store. In 2013 we were both streaming episodes of It's Always Sunny from our respective apartments.

This show is kick ass.

So what does it all mean? Are we so technologically equipped and self reliant when it comes to accessing our media that the days of group consumption are dying? Is our internet based, fast food laced, reality television saturated society too fast paced to seek out quality media with our friends in a worthwhile venue? If we may no longer have use for the video rental store or the video itself what's next?

Lets be glass half full about this shit. It means more to consume and more to enjoy! Will media ever be more than a good escape from reality, a thought provoking story, a good laugh, a hot bar topic or a well placed quote? Probably not. But it doesn't mean it can't still be social.

My point in this blog is to recap some of my experiences consuming the vast array of movie and entertainment media available to us. I am by no means a movie critic, hell, I can't even say I've even read a movie critic faithfully. No, this blog will more accurately be an autobiographical narrative of my epic journey through today's world of media past and present. Returning videotapes may no longer be an appropriate exit strategy, but then again maybe it is...

I have to return some videotapes.